Le trac is the French slang for “stage fright”, “jitters” — via Daily Prompt: Unfinished
When I suddenly dropped off the radar on July 1st, there were two things I wanted to do: post for three days straight in time with my church’s mid-year prayer and fasting, and do a weekly episode “first impressions” on Voltron: Legendary Defender.
And I just stopped; shut down. I felt like a singer who was posed to make her stage debut, and suddenly got herself a bad case of stage fright.
When the first week of July went past, I told myself, “Okay, I’m gonna do it — I’m gonna write this week.” The second week went past, and I told myself the same thing. The entire month of July flew by, and I found myself recalling the drafts I had set for scheduled posting.
As the month of August marched on, I switched between two excuses, trying to justify myself for not writing, and for not sticking to the self-commitment to post something at least once a week. Excuse number 1 was that I needed a break. Everybody deserves a break. I figured that I might have exhausted my writing juices and that I needed to refuel. It might as well be the type of break in which I do a mental check-point of what I have achieved so far in this blog, and determine whether or not I like the direction this is going.
Excise number 2, in hindsight, was more unfounded: I was doubting myself. I started to question whether or not it was a good idea to be involved in something I am (at best) quasi-committed to. It’s not like I’m accountable to anyone else but myself, in the end. Whether or not I update this blog is insignificant in the grand scale of things.
Or is it?
Today’s prompt couldn’t have come at a more timely manner. One of the mini devotionals I have gone through in the last three months emphasized the importance and potential impact of that one thing you do or don’t do; not doing that thing you are good at, not practicing it, deprives you of the chance to reach out to someone. In my case, being able to share my Christian journey is a chance to encourage someone who might share similar struggles as I do; being able to spill my thoughts over random things is a chance to connect to others with similar tastes as I do.
I might not reach thousands of followers or views now or ever, but the potential to inspire even just one person is a chance I cannot allow to pass me by. This is why I am not giving up on this blog, and I am not giving up on writing (and by extension, drawing and singing).
Your stories and mine are unfinished works of art. It doesn’t matter where you are — whether you are self doubting, experiencing burnout, hitting a writer’s block, you can always pick up that pen or set your hands to typing. You have many more stories to tell.